50-100 ways to annoy Irene Potter
by ArtemisLupin2612
Summary: Dunderheaded Irene Potter, a.k.a. Reeny, a prefect is in gryffindor. Read on to see what happens to dear Reeny!


**Ways to annoy Irene Potter-A Guide for Irritating the Girl-Who-Lived at 15 years of age.**

By Athena Snape, Cassiopeia Black, Pandora Prewett, Iris Prewett, Ruby Evans, Hecate Malfoy, Artemis Lupin, Nike Lupin and Hermione Granger.

Dedicated to Irene Potter.

A/N: This has been sold to all Hogwarts students and posted on the Muggle internet. Hope you enjoy it!

While Irene Potter slept she had no idea that her friends in the room next to her were plotting. No, she thought it would be a nice, peaceful experience camping in the Forest of Dean with three house-elves and all nine of her friends for a week. ' A good way to relax before our OWL year,' she had called it.

The books were bought, robes laundered, trunks packed for the new term. What's more, she was the new Gryffindor prefect. She simply couldn't wait for the new term to begin. Sadly, her friends would beg to differ. They were making it their goal to write a journal titled: Ways to annoy Irene Potter-A Guide for Irritating the Girl-Who-Lived at 15 years of age.

 **The first day**

Call her 'Reeny darling'

Irene was woken up by the sound of "REEEEEENY DAAARLIIING, WAKE UP, WILL YOU?" A second later, she _Muffliato_ ed herself.

Censor random words

At breakfast, Cassi told Irene "Reeny, could *** please **** the ********?" She got a glare, so Athena repeated the sentence and got… the same response. Sad, Cassi was just asking her, 'Could you please pass the sausages?'. Tsk tsk.

Ask to see her pots

Hermione did this. Fitting, considering she's a Muggle-born, and in the Muggle world a 'potter' is someone who makes pots.

Steal her prefect's badge

Pandora did this while Hermione was 'entertaining' her. Success on the first try. She didn't notice until someone screamed, "Pass Reeny's badge here!" Then she started chasing.

Run about with her badge

For about half an hour we had Reeny chasing after us. Monkey in the middle, anyone? She failed miserably even though she was a Seeker. The Chasers beat her hands down. Eventually, everyone pitied her and returned the badge.

Spray water at her

Theeny did this. As we were chatting, she leaned over and muttered something to Cassi on her left. When she had finished, Cassi stared at her, nodded, and passed the message on, while Reeny on her right was looking on confusedly. It was to _Aguamenti_ Reeny on the count of three. "One… Two…" Theeny mouthed. "Three!" She screamed and we all pointed wands at the Girl-Who-Lived, shouting, " Aguamenti!" Too bad Reeny didn't know any drying charms. Naturally, no one who knew any helped.

Use Muggle swears

Hecate 'accidentally' let Reeny win at Wizard's Chess. Hecate said, "D***, f***in h***." Reeny _Silencio_ edHecate, but the charm was cancelled in no time by Theeny. Hecate continued swearing and Theeny _Silencio_ ed Reeny. )

Pretend to put something in her hair

Nike did this and told Reeny :"Reeny, there's something disgusting in your hair!" Her Response: Shut up!

Really put something in her hair

Then when Nike was being told to "shut up" Theeny swapped it for a dead fly and shoved it in Reeny's face. "Eww!" (She didn't have the sense to _Evanesco_ it.)

Use Wizard swears

When: During dinner around a campfire

What: Fire went out for the tenth time and all those that actually knew how to light one pretended that nothing was happening. Exclamation of " I SWEAR BY SALAZAR THAT IF THE FIRE GOES OUT AGAIN..." was heard. Then Irene's exasperated groan.

Insult Dumbledore

One of Irene's roommates, Iris, had convinced her to lie down and pretend to sleep so that they could yell "BOO!" and surprise the others. But their friends lingered in the doorway, insulting Albus Dumbledore. Something about a senile, doddering, meddling, idiotic old coot, for lack of more… colourful expletives to use. The group of girls did get a surprise- except instead of "BOO!", Irene had yelled, "SHUT UP!"

Tell her the never-ending story

This was what happened…

Athena started with, "Once upon a time, there were two girls named Cassi and Athena. And Cassi said…" Cassi continued, "Once upon a time, there were two girls named Cassi and Athena. And Athena said…" And on and on and on. A _Muffliato_ charm later, the storytellers were heard muttering about ungrateful Gryffindors. Or rather, a certain ungrateful _Gryffindor_.

[Time lapse of four more days of annoying Irene]

 **The sixth day**

Irene didn't see a single one of her friends. They were all in the Slytherins' room, busy doing something. Wards had been set, and no one was able to enter. However, the following were heard by her house-elf, who imitated everyone's voices perfectly.

"Hecate, Ruby, Pandora, prologue is finished. Start editing!" (Artemis)

"You three do the odd numbers, we'll do even." (Iris)

"Have you finished with checking and resetting the wards yet? Then come back and freakin' HELP!" (Cassi)

"Kreacher, get us some food, please." (Nike)

"Dobby, would you mind Summoning some Butterbeer?" (Pandora)

" Could you eat more quickly? We still have more than half left to do and the deadline's tomorrow!" (Hecate)

" I think Irene's getting curious. You sure the wards are stable?" (Hermione)

" Dobby, Kreacher, kindly escort Jingle out. Theeny, you'll need to accommodate the wards for Jingle." (Ruby)

"Night, everyone! Everyone but Reeny is sleeping in here 'cause of the night shifts, so I hope you all brought sleeping bags." (Cassi)

"Damn. That wasn't part of the contract." (Hecate)

"Seriously… _Accio_ sleeping bags!" (Pandora)

"Nope. _Evanesco."_ (Athena)

"OI!" (Everyone except the Slytherins)

"I think you mean OI-NK. What a bunch of pigs." (Cassi)

"Hey!" (Everyone except the Slytherins again)

"Oh, you want _hay_ to sleep on? Eccentric, but I think that can be arranged."(Artemis)

"Slytherins are not known for their compassion. Leave that to the Puffs." (Athena)

This made Irene even more curious as to what they were planning. She had a feeling she would know soon, and it would not exactly make her absolutely delighted.

 **The seventh day**

Irene Potter was absolutely puzzled when she was handed what seemed to be a completely blank book. She leafed through, and saw the title. She was calm ( or at any rate, pretended to be ) until she flipped back to the first page and read the authors' note, which was when she blew her top.

"NOT ONLY DID YOU SELL THIS FOR A GALLEON EACH TO EVERYONE IN HOGWARTS, YOU HAD TO POST IT ON THIS 'INTERNET' FOR _MUGGLES_ TO READ?!"

She spent the rest of the day trying to kill us. What a waste.


End file.
